Honey, I Got You a Present!

Choosing the right birthday or anniversary present for your spouse is a harrowing ordeal.  Expectations usually run high and the pressure to deliver to these implied expectations leads to errors in judgement, like that one time I had to stand in the returns line at the mall because Pavana had expressed dissent at a CD player I had thought was the perfect gift.

While society at large has plenty of advice to give on this subject, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to interspousal gift giving.  For instance, society will tell you that gifting is less about the actual monetary value of the item and more about the sentiment it implies.  Basically भावनाओं को समझो.   Sounds like good advice, right?  But what if the भावनाs are misconstrued?  Society doesn't tell you how to handle that.  Let me illustrate.  We all have heard time and again that gifting your spouse a vacuum cleaner is a strict no-no.  The basis for this hypothesis is the sentiment implied by gifter to the giftee via the vacuum cleaner, which is, "Here's a vacuum cleaner, now I expect you to regularly vacuum the house while I lounge around.  Happy Anniversary!", when in reality the gifter might be saying: "Here's a vacuum cleaner, from now on I will start vacuuming the house regularly.  You may now lounge around.  Happy Anniversary!".  

In case you are wondering, Pavana and I did actually buy a vacuum cleaner together for our 10th wedding anniversary two years ago.  We really needed one.

The scope of anniversary gift giving between Pavana and I has been elastic and fairly inconsistent over the years of our marriage.  Today is our 12th wedding anniversary.  We did not give each other presents this time.  The fact that there was no verbal clash between us throughout day leads me to believe that our marriage graph has reached the we-no-longer-need-presents-to-show-love point.  Pundits will no doubt tell me that I am delusional.  But I am comfortable being delusional.  I have no intention of standing in line at a mall to return a CD player.