The Hindi Film Industry has churned out plenty of memorable sports films. A sports film is generally trope-laden, and truth be told, audiences watch sports films knowing this and expecting this. The story of the underdog. Trial. Misery. Pain. Tenacity. Hard work. And victory at the end. We all love this. You know the Chak De Indias and the Lagaans. Even the biopics, although sometimes more like extended skits of anecdotes and recreations of actual videos from the past making you wish that you were watching a solemn documentary instead, give you the buzz of euphoria you expect from a sports film. And within this genre, you will sometimes get a Dangal that has a narrative that transcends this cliché by addressing the human condition, a Bhaag Milkha Bhaag that deals with the sensitivity surrounding the Partition, and a Paan Singh Tomar that is raw and honest with incredible acting.
And then you have Awwal Number.
Remember how India as a whole felt proud and honored when Lagaan was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at the Oscars but failed to win? I think that is just gross underestimation of talent and a false sense of mediocrity. Do you really think we don't make Oscar worthy films? Let me tell you that the only reason we have never won an Oscar is because back in 1990, Dev Anand never cared to submit his masterpiece Awwal Number to the Academy. In fact, Awwal Number outclasses any film that has ever won the Oscar.
Awwal Number is a story of three men, Vicky, Ronnie, and Sunny. Vicky, played by Dev Anand, is the President of BCCI, chief selector, cricket coach, and a retired Director General of Police who is on the Home Minister's speed dial so that he can be pulled out of retirement whenever needed because of his brilliant terrorist catching abilities. He is a skilled helicopter pilot and can accurately shoot villains with a rifle using only one hand while flying the helicopter with the other. He knows that the only effective way to interrogate a male terrorist suspect is by injecting sach ugalwane ki dawaa into him and a female terrorist suspect is by flirting with her. He also knows the names of all the cricketing shots, and shouts them out at random while coaching his step-brother Ronnie, thus turning Ronnie into the world's best batsman. He is also emotionally very stable, evidenced by his lukewarm reaction when 10 year old Ronnie shoots a man dead. To top it all, he is also a man of principle because he drinks exactly one scotch and soda before dinner and smokes exactly one cigarette after dinner, votes to drop his own step-brother from the cricket team despite having been partial to him when selecting him the first time, and also has the gall to override the Home Minster's orders when it comes to following his usool to carry out his duties as a policeman.
Ronnie, played by Aditya Pancholi, is Vicky's younger step-brother. While Vicky was born to an Indian mother, Ronnie was born to Cindy Crawford. Yes, you heard that right. Cindy Crawford. Legend has it that Dev Anand asked his assistant to go buy the first photograph of a European looking woman he saw on Ranade Rd Dadar West, and the assistant returned with an exquisitely framed photo of supermodel Cindy Crawford, who then Dev Anand cast, uncredited and unaware, as his deceased step-mother. Having those
Angrez genes, it is no wonder that Ronnie has cricket in his blood. With top class 1:1 coaching from his brother, he becomes a superstar cricketer who is famous for hitting sixers, because that's all really matters in cricket. He is also a bad person because he is arrogant, disrespects his fans if they aren't pretty women, sleeps with them if they are, and also drinks a lot of beer (as opposed to drinking exactly one scotch and soda). He usually scores centuries when he is in form, and gets out on zero when he is out of form. He is currently out of form because of his
aiyaashi and lack of focus. He is jealous of younger cricketers who can also hit sixers, and generally wants to kill them by planting dynamite under the pitch, right around the good length area. His MO for carrying out this operation is wearing a hat and a fake mustache and yet making no effort to hide his identity so he can use his name to get a free seat on a helicopter to fly over the stadium and press a button on a remote to activate the dynamite. And as I said earlier, he is also a juvenile murderer on the loose.
Sunny, played by Aamir Khan, is an up and coming cricketer, which basically means he is a sixer hitting batsman. He makes it clear right at the beginning that although his name is Sunny, he isn't the great Sunny Gavaskar. However, he and his aging father, played by Bharat Bhushan, once receive an autographed bat from Sunny Gavaskar (not shown in the film), which our young Sunny, played by Aftab Shivdasani, then brings back to his chawl, starts playing cricket with, and grows up into a sixer hitting Aamir Khan. Sunny is a good person, because he drinks neither beer nor scotch, he has never killed anyone in his life, and his behavior toward female fans is appropriate, i.e. he falls in love with them, sings songs with them in swimsuits on the beach, eats bhaang waale bhajiya with them on chowpatty, and eventually promises to marry them by meeting their aging mother. He is also a big fan of Ronnie, but doesn't shy away from getting into a bar brawl with him when the senior cricketer speaks cheaply about women. He also carries a tape recorder in his pocket, given to him by his girlfriend Aarti, played by Ekta Sohini, with "I love you, I love you, I love you" recorded in her voice in varying pitches. Sunny uses this recorder like the Sanjeevani herb whenever he gets injured on the field, so that he can jump back up on his feet and resume hitting sixers.
Awwal Number is not just a movie. It is a grand journey. It is an adventure that traverses from cricket selection comprising of 5 people choosing between Ronnie and Sunny, to flash backs of cricket coaching accomplished either using a cricket bat if you are rich and by running on the streets on Mumbai if you are poor, to bad Tamil accented Punjabi actors playing LTTE members (the "Ayyo, umm tho thum ko jaantha hi nehi hey ji" kind), to Punjabi Tamil groundsmen named Kundi because apparently it is a South Indian word, to buxom women who pose as air hostesses in order to smuggle gold bars in their bras but end up becoming bar dancers without ever being arrested, to an Australian cricket team that consists of mustached white-face brown actors and just a single fast bowler that bowls every single over of the match, to policemen who are able to converse with villains in helicopters using some sort of mysterious telepathy. Staying true to the sport film genre, India finally wins the match against Australia. Sunny scores a century in his first ODI and achieves the rare feat of breaking Ronnie's test record in an ODI. He is also named the Man of Match and is awarded a Mercedes Benz car, which then he gives Aarti a ride in. Oh, and also, Vicky kills Ronnie, and the Tamil villains lose.
